me and myself

The eyes see what the mind thinks,
and the mind thinks what the heart feels.

I'm to blame for everything that's happening between us. I know i have been neglecting my part being the other half, concentrating more on my studies above everything else. I haven't been showing you how much i love you. I haven't been making you feel that you're a part of my life.

And i know it's already showing its effect on you.

I know i have a big ego. I don't want to admit i can't stand by myself. I don't want to admit i need someone. I don't want to admit i can't take the pain, i can't handle this by myself.

But it's just my ego talking. I'm afraid of the future as much as you do, and i don't want to collapse if one day i should lose my support. I don't want to know i can't stand on my feet.

Perhaps i was never ready to be in a relationship. I don't know how to give. I don't know how to share. I don't know what being in a relationship means. But i'm learning.

11 months. How many couples can actually say they went through what we did and still made it through? When we first got together, everyone else were pairing up as well. Now, everyone is breaking apart. But we still held on.

There were tears, there were laughter. But what really matters is that we still love one another. Come what may.

Happy 11 months dear.