PLU = SAD ?

Sometimes i wonder.. is all this PLU life full of sadness? The past week i was at Kota Kinabalu doing my electives (in other words, holiday =P), i've never felt happier living my life, having not to think bout gay problems. And the week before that i was on the verge of giving up this whole PLU shit.

Is there really happiness waiting for me if i continue to trod on this path less taken? When should i think that this is enough, nothing's gonna change about my life as a PLU and return to the straight path? Is it even possible for a gay to turn straight, just like that?

Someone told me this blog of mine is always bout sad stuff, but what can i do if from day one of my life as a gay, i've felt nothing but sadness bout it? There might be moments of happiness, but in the end, guilt and despair brought everything down.

I said i was about to give up on this PLU life, but i know i really can't do it completely. This is me, i am gay, nothing can change that. I thought i had completely accepted that fact, but i know i haven't. I can never accept myself as a gay completely, without a pang of guilt. Guess i just have to live with it.

I think i'm going to go solo for a while now. No more meeting PLUs, no more random sex. I've had enough.