the third party .. was me

So i dug.

And i found out.

I was the third party all along.

He gave up someone else to be with me.

He was STILL with that someone when i thought he was with me.

And that broke everything.

Forgive me. I should have known better. I didn't mean it.

Playing the third party and winning is not flattering. At all.

He shouldn't have let me love him. If he had told me earlier i would have my hands AND my eyes off him. But he chose to hide it from me and led me to believe i've found my dream.

No, i don't hate him. I hate myself for loving him. And you deserve every right to hate me. Punch me out if you want. I'll let you.

He still doesn't tell me everything. And i've still got nothing to confront him about. Hence, i dug and dug.

Tell me how do i trust him again?