People blog for different reasons.
I blog because no one's there to listen to me.
So far, even months after coming to terms with my own sexuality, i still have no one i can talk to bout the stuff i wrote here. Sure, a few of my close friends knew bout me being gay, but i just can't bring myself to talk to them bout some things. They are still getting used to me being gay, and besides, they won't fully understand me anyway.
And of course there are the lots of people like me i got to know online. Yet, my student life being so busy i hardly have time to sleep, i rarely get the chance to chat with any of them, let alone become close friends. Them being just random people i know, i can't just load my emotional burden onto them out of nowhere.
Which ends up with me keeping everything within myself.
And it got worse when i got into a relationship. I have absolutely no one to turn to when i want to talk bout my relationship. No one to share my joy, no one to listen to me rant. Every time something goes wrong, i have no one to cry to besides him. But i know he has his own emotional burden to handle, and i can't just overload him with mine. And i can't talk bout him to him.
My emotional burden grew so huge within me, that i broke down so much the past few months. This being the first time i ever got into a relationship, i really don't know how to handle the emotional strains. And it got him worried most of the time. Sorry.
So each time i got emotional, i blog. Sometimes, kind people drop comments. Sometimes, nobody cared. But that doesn't matter.
Because as long as i got it out of my heart, it feels so much better. Even when no one understands, no one's listening, my blog will always be here.
Still, it'll be nice to have someone who'll listen to me once in a while.
9 comments:
that is why i blog too.
:)
i'm listening ;)
longFELLOW : i am here ! contact me so V can chat and share life experiences.
so ... dun say there's nobody there for U ... k ?
There's always ppl who wiling to listen...Dont be afraid to say how u feel inside...So take care and enjoy life...
everybody needs that someone they can share things with. I'm glad i have one and she's seen me at my weakest and most vulnerable. gave me tremendous strength through those dark times
i hope u find that special friend soon! and dont think the people who comment on ur blogs are just that, people. some of us do care and r ready to listen if you're ready to talk :)
cheer up!
Dear Senaiboy, there's always people out there willing to listen to you. Find someone you can truly trust (after knowing the person for a long time) and I'm sure the person will be more than happy to share your burden.
Finally I came back from a long holiday; read that you found out that you were the third person, unknowingly. I'm sorry to hear that your first relationship was marred by such event. It's not your fault, remember that. It's him who cheated on you. If you still trust him, let's hope that there'll be no fourth or fifth person. Don't let a person who betrayed you once, to betray you twice, so said Donald Trump.
See? There are people who are listening to you :)
3rd person... well, this just relates to my obsolete post isnt it... players just play by wat "THEM" said...
so i am obsolete :s
and.... there are listening ears here... that's why blogging is therapeutic ;)
longfellow: thanks =). sorry i didn't chat with you for so long already.. was really busy with uni =(
benjipapa: yeah i know.. just that i don't know who i can talk to at the moment =S
k: glad to know you found your listening ear =). and thanks for the kind words too
alex: thanks. and i mean it more than that ;)
xavier: i'll stay obsolete with you den. haha
Post a Comment