we've been friends for damn long
I realised, deep down inside, there has always been this fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of isolation. Fear of being left alone in this cold, harsh world.
I thought i didn't care. I thought i wouldn't mind. I thought i was strong all by myself. I could go against the whole world if i want to.
But i also knew i was wrong.
and i've known you were gay for the past year
I am but a weak child. Grasping any support i could get my hands on to help me stand. Insecure, to the point i would lie to myself. Denial is the foremost line of emotional defense.
More times than i could count, that i want to move on. Stop being in denial. Take off this mask, drop this act i've put up my whole life.
Try as i might, i never found the courage.
anyways. we just wanna say
Each time i told myself this is the time, each time i thought i was ready, i faltered. Fear of rejection. Fear of isolation. The courage i so needed, never came up when i needed them.
And now i realise.
That's because the courage i've always been looking for, i had been looking at the wrong places.
we love you no in spite of your orientation
I was about to blast him. For forgetting my birthday. He was one of the few close friends i had since secondary school. And he didn't wish me.
I was planning how to make him feel all guilty bout it.
And the first word i uttered to him was.
scumbag.
but because you are you and everything about you that makes you you
Of course, those reading this never know me. Know us and how we work. We could insult and curse each other to the high ceiling.
That for one thing, was something i was glad we all shared. Sense of humour. Haha.
it's important, for me at least, that you know that we will always have your back as friends .. near or far
And i know. If there's one thing besides the hubby that i couldn't live without.
It's them.
and that we're happy that you're happy
And after so many years.
I heaved the biggest sigh of relief.
9 comments:
On finding out that your best friend's gay: I wonder sometimes if it's coincidence or we gravitate towards each other.
haha but no my best friends aren't gay (:
me and other gays don't really work out well together somehow. which is why i don't have many gay friends, ironically heh
that was very sweet :)
actually i've come to know that we're our worst enemy. Most of the time we find out that the people that cares for us dont really care about our orientation. Its just overcoming the fear of telling on our part thats hard. Anyways i'm happy for u...even if we barely know each other lol
comicallysad: yeah it's a better world out there with people like these (:
it is good to be happy, again
That's the nicest thing anyone could ever do for anyone: acceptance. I know my best friends found it a bit hard at first - but they eventually got used to the idea. :)
i'm silent.
but i think evyone knows.
it's gonna be someday when they start the conversation with, hey, i've known you for a while.
but let's just hope i get married instead. LOL
I think we all somehow vaguely know. Some latent gay-dar bit.
leon: happy, is just a state of mind :P
sam: i'm really happy for you sam :). everyone needs friends like these, don't they :)
bong: aha well.. i don't think any close friends wouldn't realise it after some time. they can't be that blur, yea? haha
paul: i do think everyone has latent gay-dar too. or maybe we are just 'unique' :P
Post a Comment